Retrospect:

April 23, 2011

Lord God, 
You are my hope and my everlasting joy. Why am I not faithful to that? Why do I not rely on it? Why do I constantly stray from it? Why do I continuously believe that other things will give me greater pleasure? King Jesus, you give me power through the spirit. Overcome these things in my life 

April 29, 2012

Actions. Actions do not equal devotion. I am not devoted to you because I read my bible and pray. I am not devoted to you because I sing about you and lift you to the sky with my words. I am not devoted to you. God, I ask 'where are you?' but you are asking me, "Where are you!?" Where am I?  Why, what, how... How do I know your love when I am not seeking it? Why, what, how? All these questions. I don't just be. My heart isn't here. My heart isn't devoted. All these prayers are the same. I am so stagnant. 

Lean on Jesus so hard that when he moves you fall over. 

April 14, 2013

Give me faith to trust what you say. Give give me that faith. The kind that knows you never fail when I do. I'm learning that. I love it. I guess I just want to rejoice. You are so  so so good to me. I think I'm realizing about freedom. Like, because we are God's children and we have the spirit and discernment we have the freedom to make choices. They might not always be the right one. But, that is why God is there to shepherd us because it will be His will done. He is sovereign. He trusts us to ask. To be led by Him. So, freedom... It is a beautiful thing. 



Most days I wake up and look in the mirror. Each time I want to be shocked by my beauty, it seems that then I would believe in it. Most days I have conversations with friends. Each time I want to be shocked by my wisdom, it seems that then I would believe I have it. Most days I am generous with my time and energy. Each time I want to be blessed by reactions, it seems that then I would believe it was real. Mostly, I want my days to be different than they are. I have a hard time accepting what people say about me. Leader, bold, passionate, wise, beautiful, generous, caring... these words are supposed to make up who I am. As a daughter of Christ, that is.  I get stuck thinking I'm no different than I was 1, 2, or 3 years ago. But, here is evidence that things have changed. God has and is transforming me. His power is evident. Be encouraged that on the days you don't realize who you are other people do. God knows me. He knows my heart.

"I have prayed for you, Shanna, that your faith would not fail" The Lord knows your heart.